Friday, 18 November 2011

Snobbery at its Finest

We are currently looking at houses, with an aim to purchase, which our bank was very keen to assist us with by offering us large amounts of money. Commendably we have resisted utilizing this amount to the last dollar, leaving us in the mid range listings for the areas we are interested in.

During our interactions with RE Agents we are inevitably shown structures that are well outside our
"absolute top dollar" price range as they predictably try to find out where our "real" ceiling is.

I believe we have fairly simple tastes. We like value for money and aren't particularly interested in, what I term, "look at me" houses. I'm just as happy in a large, old shed with three different extensions in multi-coloured zincalume as I would be in a barn sized air-conditioned garage. Especially if the dunga shed has 74 power-points, a 2 post hoist, TV, beer fridge and pool table inside. I'm not out to impress anyone. Being comfortable is what we are all about.

So anyway, I am looking through the listings and find a fancy, architecturally designed mansion by accident and do some cursory searches on its value. I see that it has been dropped a shitload in price. More searching uncovers a possible drainage problem at the back. As it is a very beautiful home, and because I can't help buying something "worth" 1 million dollars at half price I ring the agent.

Let's call her Miss Upherself shall we?

Ring, ring.

Miss Upherself: Hello, this is BitchFace. How may I help you?

Me: Hi. I was interested in that hideously expensive mansion you have listed and I've noticed on the flood map that there is a possible flooding problem at the back. Is that why it the price has been reduced?

Miss Upherself: Well I'm absolutely certain that map is wrong. (Blah blah, city council, irresponsible mapping data, etc). May I inquire what price range you are interested in.

Me: (Insert hopeful dollar figure).

Miss Upherself: Oh dear me no, I think you should be looking in other ares. The front door alone is worth $3000.00.

Me: Click. Beeep... beeep.. beeep...

1 comment:

SuzyQ said...

Maybe she was inviting you to negotiate on the house one section at a time, starting with the front door. That's hilarious.