Saturday, 5 June 2010

NZ Holiday - Day 5 to 7 - The Psycho Jet Boat Driver and Gondola Clamp Test

After our nanna-nap rest it was time to hit Queenstown. We’d pre-booked a lovely scenic cruise... ON A JET BOAT, YEAH BABY.

It was freaking insane fun. The crazy bastard driving had us going sideways through gaps we shouldn’t have fit through going straight. We were bashing over rocky sections of the stream that you could have walked across, ankle deep! And we were doing it at over 80kph. Once again I am amazed at NZ attitude to public liability. I am deeply thankful this insidious, fun-sucking legality is beneath their awareness.

For the rev-heads amongst us, the boat was powered by twin V6 Buick’s and spat out 800 litres of water per second from the thrusters. This is a super-fast dump in anyone’s language.

The Jet Boat insanity only pumped us up. We headed into town for a ride on the Skyline Gondola. Now in NZ a Gondola is not a skinny boat shoved along gently with a pole; it is a little fiberglass cabin attached to a cable that allows fat people to attain the heady heights of mountain tops. A ski-lift contraption if you will.

It was in fact an awe-inspiring ride up. I tried jumping up and down a bit to see if the clamp holding us onto the cable would slip. Nita gave me the evil eye so I stopped. Besides, I think it did move a bit.

The views from the top were once again spectacular. We had a beer so our insides could be as cold as our outsides. It was freezing cold.

There was a purpose-made luge track (unpowered go-carts really) at the top. Looked like fun but we were content to watch other people hurt themselves, get wet in the intermittent rain showers, and make fools of themselves getting in and out of the carts and chair-lifts.

The day was done so we came down separate from the In-laws so I could try to convince Jules to join the Mile High Club. My application was rejected.

Go to Day 8-9

Go back to Day 1- The Airport/Customs/Flight/Airport/Customs Horror.

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