Friends

(Skip to - Chilli and curry - the same thing?)

When selecting your friends ensure you balance your needs. Obviously some friends should be more outgoing than is socially acceptable, for entertainment value. You can live vicariously through their actions even while you’re saying, “I don't think you should be doing that”. A couple of your friends should be slightly saner to prevent the crazed ones going too far. One of these steadfast blokes, (or shelias), will also be on hand to stop you from joining the craziness, without being gay about it.

The dullest tasks become bearable when accompanied by friends. It’s good to have a few mates around to drink your beer and watch you dig that new swimming pool by hand. Their advice on how to hold the shovel and their uncanny ability of spotting any mistake you’ve made is invaluable.

Some of your friends should have specialised skills you lack, and be willing to use those skills for your benefit on the odd occasion. At mates rates. All friends should own different tools and freely lend them to each other. The friend should come with the tool to help if the job requires it. Borrowed tools should be replaced with new tools if damaged, (unless the damage takes place after they returned your mower with smashed blades. It is then acceptable to run over their grinder and return the pieces in a small box).

It’s natural to want to compete with your friends but it is bad form to become an expert at that particular PlayStation racing game so you can kick their arses every time you play.

A true friend helps you hold it together when everything turns to shit. They will make fun of you when you screw up, and praise you when you do something exceptionally dangerous and get away with it. They are there for you, despite your faults and failures. Hopefully everyone has friends with these qualities.

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to find good friends everywhere the wife and I move to. Although circumstances separate us from these excellent people as we move about this huge country, we stay in contact and meet up on the odd occasion. Looking at the map of Oz shows just how spread out they are. Almost every state and territory is covered. If I was paranoid I might think they are trying to get as far away from me as possible.

I value my friends very highly, therefore I’ll be kind enough to keep the really personal stuff to myself. The rest is fair game. Stay tuned for your individual acknowledgment.

(Like it? See - James and the Blair Witch)