The Witches European Broomstick Tour – 2016

This bi-annual trip started in 2014 after the original 5 witches held tentative discussions where dreams where ultimately turned into promises to tour Europe together. The intention being to take in the sights, immerse themselves in each country’s culture, and to buy tokens as proof of passage through the 100’s of Christmas markets that spring up throughout the European Union. They called this x-Europe rampage the "Broomstick Tour", got shirts made, and thoroughly enjoyed the inaugural experience.

Credit for the Broomstick Tours must go to the J-clan globe-trotters (with a special nod to T-Witch). Her in-depth research, creative use of transport (planes/ships/trains/subways/limousine services), ability to seek out unconventional accommodation and oversee the kitties. None of these activities are taken for granted.

T-Witch made a huge effort to ensure everyone had an initial say when choosing destinations on the 2016 Tour and continually modified the itinerary to ensure the progression was workable. She even included a few Easter eggs to keep us entertained and to make sure each country we visited was memorable. In all we'll cram 12 cities/towns into 23 days while visiting Netherlands, Germany, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Hungary, Slovakia, Austria and United Kingdom - nobody better blink.

I’ll remain forever grateful for her dedication and patience as she shepherded the 6 of us (4 veterans and 2 virgins) through a quagmire of connecting flights, weird ticketing requirements, map deciphering, tracking down hidden accommodation locations and drew on her magical previous travel experiences to ensure we didn’t fall into the many tourist traps along the way.

Why I was invited is beyond me. As the lone male member, (partner to one of the witches), I didn’t fit the criteria. Also a daily battle with IBS, recently diagnosed and by no means understood or under control, made the decision to go along quite daunting. But, tired of being controlled by the illness, I chose to risk it.

The brief for this tour was for each person to carry a 45 litre backpack, (to suit carry-on size restrictions), with several extra bags shared between the group as check-in luggage as purchases mounted up.

We exchange NZ dollars for 300 Euro’s before we left. This later proves a laughably pitiful amount that needs topping up several times. Apparently we have expensive tastes and thirsts.

Due to time zone changes some estimates quoted may not calculate correctly. I have taken the liberty of rounding off and applying real time when indicating hours for travel.

Broomstick Tour - Day 1

I had a little break

For better or for worse I am back. Kinda surprised that my blog was still active. Had a little bit of spam built up and a couple of real comments to paste up. I'm currently doing Nanowrimo so I will be using my sister site Killer Serials to post my story up as a serial as I go.

Baccarat cookware - spare parts found!

Australians love Baccarat cookware. They're reasonably priced (they always seem to be on sale for 50% off), well built, easy to clean and they just work. The only maintenance they need is tightening the handle and steam vent knob every 6 months or so. Now, I don't bloody sell Baccarat products, I don't get a kick-back from them, and I don't care about your one lousy experience that makes Baccarat your chosen whipping boy for all that's wrong with the world. I'm just touting something that does its job well for us, which is extremely rare these days.

We've had our set of Baccarat saucepans (and all the other stuff that came in the box) for about 12 years. They've been treated roughly (one has a nasty scar on its butt - a souvenir from an exploding stove element), been crammed into 5 different removalist trucks and have hit the floor the exact number of times you'd expect a klutz to drop them. Well, after all that abuse I finally managed to smash the steam vent knob off one. They were starting to deteriorate, almost definitely as a result of high dishwasher temperatures.

The accident sent me on a highly irritating journey through the internet to find spare parts. It seems that no bastard stocks them. Not even eBay sellers. I blame the evolution of JIT and Kaizen inventory practises for this, not to mention the sheer resilience of the Baccarat product which means there's not much call for spares.

Anyway, since Baccarat is so damn popular I found loads of posts from other people looking for the same parts without success. Eventually I found a article by Matthew Abraham who'd tracked down the owners of the Baccarat trademark, PlayCorp. (They're huge - supplying more than 13,000 products to around 6,000 retailers such as Target, Rebel Sport, Coles, Kmart, Myer and Big W.)

After scoring the magical customer service email address I broke through to their warehouse guy (Erol), who's a really nice bloke. Erol does not require you to jump through any hoops or fill out any forms. He will take your order over the phone and then tell you the ridiculously cheap price. (They must only just cover the production costs. $5 for the steam vent assembly).

Throwing the lids away just because one part was damaged  would have pissed me off so I'm really happy with the result.

So if you or your mates are looking for Baccarat spares here's the details.

PlayCorp group of companies

Warranty and Customer Service.

7-9 Mephan Street

Footscray   3011

Tel: 03 9317 1115

Fax: 03 9317 1127

Email: eroly@playcorp.com.au

Things that make you go Hmmmm.

Here's a list:

• Trying to do a blog on "Things that make you go Hmmmm" and Chrome won't open Blogger.
• Opening all 47 windows in a 2 story house and watching rain clouds roll in.
• Cleaning sliding windows and pressing sweaty body parts against them while reinstalling.
• Experiencing wind changes towards the house each time dry, dusty garden clippings hit the shredder blades.
• Stepping back from cleaning a filthy house to find it is now merely messy.
• Starting a simple gardening project and realising you now have every tool out of the shed.
• ...

Xmas - You are dead to me

Hi Xmas zombies

(For clarity I use the term 'Xmas' instead of 'Christmas' to signify the consumerism function that I previously and resentfully worshipped). 

I'm not a religious person, or maybe a God that suits me hasn't been invented yet - but fear not, this isn't a religious rant so let's explore my latest Xmas epiphany instead.

Despite the unwanted pressures and expectations of Xmas each year I always wrote the upbeat letters, sent the least sickeningly worded cards I could find, erected and decorated the fake tree, bought presents and observed the rituals as decreed by marketing gurus.

This year; mostly due to a life-changing course I took online; I resolutely boycotted Xmas in a non-participatory, non-judgmental way.

So what happened?

A discomforting enlightenment occurred.

Each year we send around 30-40 cards and receive maybe 20-30 back. With zero sent, guess how many came back this year? 8! 3 were from real estate agent suck-up lists with 1 from our hideously evil  bank. By the way I really love the people who sent the heartfelt 4.

So what does this tell me?

Obviously I have been guilting people into sending cards for years. No one, including me, really wanted to do it but we got caught up in the machinery of Xmas and behaved accordingly.

I have this huge, uncomfortable feeling of having wasted vast quantities of time and energy by blindly going through the motions. Surprisingly even my wife had absolutely no interest in picking up what I let drop. Abilene Paradox anyone?

I'm still not yet free of all Xmas' insidious requirements. We still bought too much expensive food and stupidly overate to a state of extreme discomfort. It bemused me why I would do this to myself but I valued the forced introspection.

So what have I learned from this experiment?

• I don't have to allow big business, relatives or friends dictate my behaviour on any given day.
• Conspicuous waste should never be celebrated.
• Rituals should mean something to a person performing them.
• Being manipulated into thinking or acting far outside your will is dehumanising and frightening to acknowledge. 

This post will cause some people to label me according to their beliefs. That's fine, but bear in mind that I'm not suggesting Xmas or Christmas for not right for YOU, I'm just removing its unhealthy influence from MY life.

Commercialised Christians and Heathen Hijackers

It's a week before Xmas and I am walking despondently towards the Mecca of Merchandise to fulfill a ludicrous obligation that has no meaning to me.

Despite being an affirmed heathen, I have always played along with friends and family whether they hijacked the holiday or faithfully celebrated Jesus' Birthday, mainly to avoid the Scrooge tag and just be tolerant of their views. But no more.

What do I hate about Xmas?

• The sugary bullshit songs of joy and happiness that blare over the squalling children 'I WANT' 'ing everything they have been primed to desire by the TV.
• The frantic confusion of the Halloween/Xmas decoration overlap period. Someone should really sort that shit out.
• The bombardment of advertising that encourages and approves overindulgence from all sides. I don't need any encouragement along these lines. I already have self-control issues.
• The economic stimulus of the holiday spending spree is no doubt welcome to all businesses but I look at the CRAP we buy and only see landfill life-spans drop. Other people's conversations invade my ears while loitering in the toy aisles as people snatch cheap junk from shelves to tick boxes on their lists; Mum, Dad, Katie-Sue, Katie-Sue's newborn, the dog etc. "Ohhh I can't think of anything for Steve's family" - "I'm just getting everyone chocolates" - "I already did that for Kindy group!".
• Being forced to participate in Secret Santa activities that aren't secret and are usually covered off by 2 people in the group as no one else can be bothered.

What do I like about Xmas?

• When it's over.
• It means the New Year is upon us which is as close as I can get to feeling spiritually/mentally renewed.
• Kids have to go back to school soon - hahaaa.

I'd rather look at Xmas as just another notable day on the calendar. One that should slip quietly by, celebrated by those who feel it is significant to them without their accompanying judgements against those of us who opt out.

So to sum up, #@*% Xmas, but I wish a Happy New Year to everyone who deserves one.

Generation Useless

Much as I like bagging out the youth of today, (in the venerated tradition handed down through the generations), I did think the TV program I saw recently about young adults unable to boil an egg or change a wheel on their car was slightly rough on them.

Everyone has to be taught how things work, (not to mention how to interact socially and maintain a suitable level of hygiene). A lot of young people seem to have trouble with some of the above examples - sometimes all three at the same time. But my point is, if a person hasn't been told/shown/taught how to operate/act/cook, the rest of us have no right to slag them for that ignorance.

On the other hand, if they have been shown/told/taught and just can't seem to follow instructions, then they are fair game.

I was very lucky to have parents who instilled life-skills into me from an early age. I sure felt that they wanted me to see the world as soon as legally possible (waiting for a teenagers' brain to catch up with his/her breakneck pace of living must be quite tiring). But, being thrust into the big, bad world is frightening enough when you are able to fend for yourself. I'd hate to try to cope without the skills I'd been given.

I find it amusing that coddled kiddies of today look at me and think: "That old guy can't keep up with the technology of our world". And they're right. But should I apologise? I can cook, clean, maintain my possessions and engage in a meaningful relationship with other people. I'll accept that we have a difference in priorities but I'd rather have good core life skills than be at the cutting edge of technology.

I'm happy to let youngsters forge ahead - sometimes the path they leave behind is less hazardous when the pitfalls are filled with someone-else's money, blood sweat and tears.