Now that my inner writer has been made public, there’s an expectation/fear that I might be chronicling everyone’s perceived faults in some sort of doomsday book. I hear a lot of worried comments like, “this is going in your book, isn’t it?”, while perusing the goings-on at friends/family functions. And there’s always the old standby, “am I in your book?”, by those who maybe think they should be.
There is no ‘book’ as such. I write many things. Articles, short stories, reviews and novels. They are fiction and don't necessarily reflect upon anyone I know. Of course I draw on my past experiences and everything that goes on around me through my own distorted perceptions.
I may answer the questions above with “only in the broadest sense of your personality”, or, “hell yeah, the shit you do!” Mainly I’m just screwing with your head. I can handle the sidelong looks where there were none before. Some people are a bit more subdued around me and less likely to confide their secrets. That’s okay. I’ll just make up stuff about you.
I’ve had to revise some of my posts. Self-censorship sucks but I wouldn’t want to be misconstrued (sued). I must remember the freedom to speak my mind here is constrained by certain legalities. There are also certain weirdo’s strange sensitivities to consider.
The temptation to divulge private thoughts and beliefs without considering the ramifications is great at times. Exposing myself on such a public forum for the dissemination and judgement of anyone who might stumble upon it makes me add disclaimers. Really, I'd rather not bother. I'd prefer those of you who don't like what I write just accept my right to free speech and move on.
I like to be honest. If that honesty can be amusing at the same time so much the better. I do realise that merely applying my opinion to a subject doesn’t automatically make what I say correct; I’m not that arrogant yet. For my own reasons most of my entries are kneejerk reactions, and as such, the words can only really encapsulate a snapshot of my immediate feelings and thoughts at any given time.
It is interesting that someone might think they know me purely by what I write. Something I need to remind myself when I receive comments from the truly supercilious.