Woke up the next morning to all the power going out. Sparky No.1 has come back and shut off the mains without checking to see if anyone was on a heart/lung machine. Didn't get angry, at least something is getting done.
Just after he left I discovered the phone’s on the blink, it'll only ring once and the lines crackles louder than...well, louder than the guy that always sits in front of me at the cinema with the oversize packet of chips. I search around where the electricians have been working and see a box dangling underneath the house.
The phone connection. Sparky No. 1 has knocked it off while he was cutting the earth wire out. Son of a bitch.
Couldn't do anything with the phone line myself so I ring our provider. 26 minutes on hold until someone picks up. I try to explain the problem. He says he'll check the line and ring back.
Never rings back.
I ring again and this time I'm on hold for 24 minutes. I get some Indian dude. It’s clique city for Gods’ sake. The line's really bad and I can’t understand what the hell he's saying, there's no way I'm hanging up and trying again. I manage to convey the message that I've already reported the fault, and I just want to talk to the same guy. He wants to go through the whole procedure again.
I am very close to screaming. Seriously.
Finally he says someone will come and take a look...in 5 days...they'll turn up whenever they want. And no, they can’t call first, you’ll be on a priority list. At the friggin bottom most likely.
Days later, Sparky No. 2 turns up out of the blue and does a quote for the A/C's. (Do they really rely on people just staying at home waiting for them to turn up?) He can have them in at the end of the week. Nice. Pretty expensive, but we check his price against some companies on the web and it looks close. We ring back to confirm our order.
“We can do it week after next.”
“What happened to getting them in this week?”
“Oh no, we’ll have to order them first.”
I'm gritting my teeth so hard I think a piece flew off. Probably just plaque.
“OK. When? Can you give me a day and a time? PLEASE.”
“Well..maybe Wednesday, sometime, maybe.”
I get on the net, somehow it's still working, and have a look at the stock market. It’s crashing. We lose $17,000.